the response


i absolutely LOVED the response i got from my post about going insane. i thought you’d enjoy some highlights from my week [it’s still incredibly weird to get a real-life response to my blog, rather than an internet one, but hey, keep it coming, i’m glad you read]

tuesday night at salt:
my friend emily tells me she saw my post on facebook [“i haven’t had a meltdown…YET”], but didn’t read the blog and asks me how i’m doing.
i say, “oh i just wrote about how bryan is leaving me for the summer…” and i’m down, as in, tears are welling in my eyes as students call out my name asking to register for the Salt Retreat. i escape to the bathroom and try to control myself.

wednesday night at craft night:
i’m knitting with gig, victoria, and kaylee. victoria notes the blog and asks me how i’m doing. i talk about it a little bit and joke about my line about constantly being on the verge of tears at all times. the room gets kind-of quiet and victoria so adorably points out, “oh, you’re crying now…”
“yep, i am” i respond and proceed to cry it out.

thursday morning at work:
one of our elders passes by my desk on his way out the door, and says, “i read your blog, that was HILARIOUS, but very true, so we’ll be praying for you.” his good sense of humor and compassion almost made me cry again.

on friday, i was finally able to talk about the impending east asia trip without crying, which was super nice. thanks for all the love and support, my friends, you’ve proved yourself thus far.

and for the cynics out there, NO, it wasn’t hormones. sometimes a girl can cry without that particular excuse.

happy haircut


last sunday, at 10:30pm at night, i gave bryan the best haircut of his life. it looked great, and he asked me to trim the sides a little more. we were watching the oscars, and he was talking about something and then, i gasped.

that just happened.

first, i thought i could fix it, but bryan quickly stopped me after he heard the horrified gasp escape my lips. i said, “don’t look at it! i can fix it!” and he said, “i need to look at it.” after five agonizing minutes alone in the kitchen after the incident, he came back out and said sweetly, “i can barely tell, it’s not that bad. but where’s the little mirror?” [for a visual, he said this to his crying wife who had buried her face in her hands]

i helped him look at his hair in the mirror so that he saw “the patch” in its full glory. he continued to be ever so sweet and say things like, “you can’t even tell from the front.” and “it’s not that bad.” in contrast, i hurdled myself facedown in our bed, crying, and started to mutter, “it’s so bad, it’s so bad, i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry. don’t worry, i won’t ever cut your hair again.”

he comforted me until we convinced ourselves that he could go to a salon or something the next day, and this would be something we’d laugh about in years to come. “the patch” only lasted about 12 hours, thankfully and in the end, he’s still as hot as ever.

thank you twin image, for fixing my husbands hair.

trailer park life


you know you live in a trailer park when…

you call the city to see why the water pressure dropped dramatically only to find out that the city doesn’t provide your water. you then easily connect the dots between the fact that your trailer park has a lake, the fact that you’ve seen brown water come out of your spicket, and the now obvious reason why water is “included” in the lot rent fee.

sketchy trailer park water…

can i just say?


Let’s talk about the fact that my husband is leaving me for what is officially 76 days. SEVENTY SIX DAYS PEOPLE!

I keep telling people that I haven’t really freaked out about it yet. Which is true, I haven’t had a meltdown. But I think the real truth is that I am just generally on the verge of tears at all times but I haven’t exploded yet so it doesn’t really count. How’s that for stable?

I could just completely throw a fit the day before he leaves for East Asia like normal people, but instead I’m slowly but surely wasting away my sanity over these next few months before he leaves. Although I’ve only been thinking about the reality of Bryan being gone for 76 days for about 6 weeks, I’m pretty sure this weird, elongated, insane meltdown process of mine will have many different phases.

Right now, I’m in the extremely selfish phase. Here are real-life quotes from my head:

Bryan won’t be able to send me a birthday present from across the world, and he’s going to be gone on my birthday, so that sucks.

Hey, Bryan, why don’t you just leave for East Asia TWO DAYS before our anniversary?! That way you miss our anniversary and my birthday, that’s real cool. 

Aren’t you glad you aren’t married to me? I’m horrible.

It is as if I keep forgetting that Bryan is giving up his entire summer to share the gospel with the lost and love on extremely undervalued orphans…I tend to forget these things in the height of my selfishness.

But even though I’m horrible and selfish, I’m still going to expect ALL OF YOU to put up with me when I explode in tears and can’t stop. Especially you, Kaylee.

may i not fall…


I know what you’re thinking. I should probably become a photographer. Look at the depth, the adorable-ness, the artsy-fartsy angle, and the way the little birdie looks so gosh darn thin! I can’t explain it, really. I was just overcome by my own raw, unbridled talent all of a sudden and I snapped this breathtaking photo of this little bird. SO, throwing caution to the wind, I’m quitting my day job and launching my new photography business which specializes in Instragram iPhone 4 Photos of little adorable crafts.

Just an FYI for my true friends out there: this is the moment when you’re obligated to tell me that I should NOT audition for “America’s Next Best Photographer” because I’m just NOT that talented. And Simon will mock me to the end of the age if you don’t slap me in the face and warn me now of my misdirected pride.

ANYWAY, that little monologue was my way of proudly proclaiming that while I may not have a photography talent, I AM THE BEST AT MAKING ADORABLE LITTLE CRAFTS.

I mean, look at that bird. Isn’t he cute? Oh, you need more pictures? Here you go…

I’ve been learning all sorts of new crafty things lately. I’m working on my first from-a-pattern-dress, I taught myself how to needle felt (this little bird is needle felted), and I’m working on my crochet skills.

Indeed, I think it’s safe to say that I rock.

trailer park life


you know you live in a trailer park when…

the local trailer park geese [we’re a fancy trailer park, remember, we have a freaking lake] are getting real comfortable where they are. they’ve taken over the lake, obviously, but also the playground and the soccer field, and sometimes the road. and i’m all like fine, whatevs. because really, does ANYONE have tact in a trailer park?

lately, my life…


Lately, my life has consisted of driving. Driving a total of 12 hours to Ames and back three different times in one month. Driving to pick up my friend Morgan, driving to Starbucks, driving back home and then back to campus to take Bryan to school and then driving to work-all before 8am. Driving to Coralville with my friend Kaylee to go to Target because we hate Walmart so much. Driving to Riverside, IA to help my friend Sarah finish touching up her new house. Driving to Atkins, IA to wedding dress shop with my friend Layla.

Lately, my life has consisted of work. Working to completely move in to our new offices. Working to catch up on everything I put off during the month it took to move into our new offices. Working on all the extra stuff that comes with a new year or a new semester or new responsibilities. Working on improving myself and getting better at my job. Working to keep my email inbox to under 50 emails.

Lately, my life has consisted of purging. Purging everything we don’t need or use. Selling everything we no longer want. Getting rid of all things broken or cluttered or useless. Purging unhealthy eating habits. Purging my undisciplined ways.

Lately, my life has consisted of crying. Crying at the sight of my freshly engaged best friend (happy tears). Crying out of frustration or anger or stress. Crying out of sorrow for those that have lost loved ones.

Lately, my life.

January Financial Update


This just in, I think I might go back to actually using proper capitalization. Maybe.

If you divide 100% by 12 months, you get 8.3333333333333333%. I just wanted to get that out there and explain that we’re not going to be able to save 8.33% percent each month. Right now, we’re in a season of inching. I have a fulltime job that provides for all of our needs but leaves little room for saving. Bryan gives plasma and so far, we’ve been able to save all of that money. But our goals are quite hefty compared to the small amount of savings we can muster right now. 
That’s okay, because the end of school is finally in sight. Bryan will graduate in May, leave for East Asia, get back in August, and (Lord-willing) get a job and we’ll be a double income family. Since we quite easily live off of one small income right now, we should have no problem dominating our goals come August. At least that’s the plan. 
For now, we’d like to be diligent stewards of what God has given us and save as much as we can, even if it’s very little. 
Because we were on the ball in November and December, we’re actually not so far behind this month. Which is always encouraging! 
Here’s the update:
2012 Financial Goals:

  1. Fill all of our essential dump funds as fast as possible. these dump funds include:
    • Auto Insurance
    • Home Insurance
    • Auto Tax
    • Home Tax
    • Pest Control
    • Eye Exams
    • Eye Glasses
  2. Pay off our student loan
  3. Fill all of our non-essential dump funds. these dump funds include:
    • Christmas
    • Clothing
    • Vacation
    • Birthdays
  4. Save and pay cash for a second car
  5. Fully fund our emergency fund (6 months of expenses)
Percentage-wise, we’re 7.46% completed with our 2012 goals.