can i just say?

Standard

Let’s talk about the fact that my husband is leaving me for what is officially 76 days. SEVENTY SIX DAYS PEOPLE!

I keep telling people that I haven’t really freaked out about it yet. Which is true, I haven’t had a meltdown. But I think the real truth is that I am just generally on the verge of tears at all times but I haven’t exploded yet so it doesn’t really count. How’s that for stable?

I could just completely throw a fit the day before he leaves for East Asia like normal people, but instead I’m slowly but surely wasting away my sanity over these next few months before he leaves. Although I’ve only been thinking about the reality of Bryan being gone for 76 days for about 6 weeks, I’m pretty sure this weird, elongated, insane meltdown process of mine will have many different phases.

Right now, I’m in the extremely selfish phase. Here are real-life quotes from my head:

Bryan won’t be able to send me a birthday present from across the world, and he’s going to be gone on my birthday, so that sucks.

Hey, Bryan, why don’t you just leave for East Asia TWO DAYS before our anniversary?! That way you miss our anniversary and my birthday, that’s real cool. 




Aren’t you glad you aren’t married to me? I’m horrible.

It is as if I keep forgetting that Bryan is giving up his entire summer to share the gospel with the lost and love on extremely undervalued orphans…I tend to forget these things in the height of my selfishness.

But even though I’m horrible and selfish, I’m still going to expect ALL OF YOU to put up with me when I explode in tears and can’t stop. Especially you, Kaylee.




may i not fall…

Standard

I know what you’re thinking. I should probably become a photographer. Look at the depth, the adorable-ness, the artsy-fartsy angle, and the way the little birdie looks so gosh darn thin! I can’t explain it, really. I was just overcome by my own raw, unbridled talent all of a sudden and I snapped this breathtaking photo of this little bird. SO, throwing caution to the wind, I’m quitting my day job and launching my new photography business which specializes in Instragram iPhone 4 Photos of little adorable crafts.

Just an FYI for my true friends out there: this is the moment when you’re obligated to tell me that I should NOT audition for “America’s Next Best Photographer” because I’m just NOT that talented. And Simon will mock me to the end of the age if you don’t slap me in the face and warn me now of my misdirected pride.

ANYWAY, that little monologue was my way of proudly proclaiming that while I may not have a photography talent, I AM THE BEST AT MAKING ADORABLE LITTLE CRAFTS.

I mean, look at that bird. Isn’t he cute? Oh, you need more pictures? Here you go…

I’ve been learning all sorts of new crafty things lately. I’m working on my first from-a-pattern-dress, I taught myself how to needle felt (this little bird is needle felted), and I’m working on my crochet skills.

Indeed, I think it’s safe to say that I rock.

trailer park life

Standard

you know you live in a trailer park when…

the local trailer park geese [we’re a fancy trailer park, remember, we have a freaking lake] are getting real comfortable where they are. they’ve taken over the lake, obviously, but also the playground and the soccer field, and sometimes the road. and i’m all like fine, whatevs. because really, does ANYONE have tact in a trailer park?

lately, my life…

Standard

Lately, my life has consisted of driving. Driving a total of 12 hours to Ames and back three different times in one month. Driving to pick up my friend Morgan, driving to Starbucks, driving back home and then back to campus to take Bryan to school and then driving to work-all before 8am. Driving to Coralville with my friend Kaylee to go to Target because we hate Walmart so much. Driving to Riverside, IA to help my friend Sarah finish touching up her new house. Driving to Atkins, IA to wedding dress shop with my friend Layla.

Lately, my life has consisted of work. Working to completely move in to our new offices. Working to catch up on everything I put off during the month it took to move into our new offices. Working on all the extra stuff that comes with a new year or a new semester or new responsibilities. Working on improving myself and getting better at my job. Working to keep my email inbox to under 50 emails.

Lately, my life has consisted of purging. Purging everything we don’t need or use. Selling everything we no longer want. Getting rid of all things broken or cluttered or useless. Purging unhealthy eating habits. Purging my undisciplined ways.

Lately, my life has consisted of crying. Crying at the sight of my freshly engaged best friend (happy tears). Crying out of frustration or anger or stress. Crying out of sorrow for those that have lost loved ones.

Lately, my life.

January Financial Update

Standard

This just in, I think I might go back to actually using proper capitalization. Maybe.

Anyway…
If you divide 100% by 12 months, you get 8.3333333333333333%. I just wanted to get that out there and explain that we’re not going to be able to save 8.33% percent each month. Right now, we’re in a season of inching. I have a fulltime job that provides for all of our needs but leaves little room for saving. Bryan gives plasma and so far, we’ve been able to save all of that money. But our goals are quite hefty compared to the small amount of savings we can muster right now. 
That’s okay, because the end of school is finally in sight. Bryan will graduate in May, leave for East Asia, get back in August, and (Lord-willing) get a job and we’ll be a double income family. Since we quite easily live off of one small income right now, we should have no problem dominating our goals come August. At least that’s the plan. 
For now, we’d like to be diligent stewards of what God has given us and save as much as we can, even if it’s very little. 
Because we were on the ball in November and December, we’re actually not so far behind this month. Which is always encouraging! 
Here’s the update:
2012 Financial Goals:

  1. Fill all of our essential dump funds as fast as possible. these dump funds include:
    • Auto Insurance
    • Home Insurance
    • Auto Tax
    • Home Tax
    • Pest Control
    • Eye Exams
    • Eye Glasses
  2. Pay off our student loan
  3. Fill all of our non-essential dump funds. these dump funds include:
    • Christmas
    • Clothing
    • Vacation
    • Birthdays
  4. Save and pay cash for a second car
  5. Fully fund our emergency fund (6 months of expenses)
Percentage-wise, we’re 7.46% completed with our 2012 goals. 

ugh. goals.

Standard

i don’t think that having new year’s resolutions only because you feel pressured to have them is really the point. but that’s a little how i feel this year. last year i was all bursting at the seams to tell you how awesome i was going to be last year and how much i was going to get accomplished.

and i am really okay with the fact that i didn’t complete most of those things. i wasn’t lying.

but i would be lying if i pretended that i actually had goals for my life right now.

crap, this post is about to be long. so how about i make it a “choose your own adventure” type thing? okay, done. you can read any one of the following endings to this post:

there you go, four posts in one day. and you thought i was slacking, didn’t you.

the boiled down version of new year’s resolutions

Standard

so far, 2012 has been about surviving for me. surviving at work, surviving at home, surviving life. it totally sucks, really. i don’t want to just survive life. i want to own life, like really, own it. i want to wake up and tell life what it’s gonna be today.

but alas, life has been so busy that i’ve had to resort to survival mode. it happens, you know? usually in january, too. i mean what the heck.

while everyone else in the world has started (and many have already failed) their new year’s resolutions already. i’m staying ahead of the curve because i haven’t even thought about my new year’s resolutions. boom, roasted.

really, if i had time to actually think about my goals for life at this point, it would really boil down to the one sentence answer i have had time to think about. be awesome at life. that’s really what goals are anyway, the means to the end of being awesome at life.

so that’s what i’ve got for you people, four words. be awesome at life. january is over today, but that’s all i’ve got. i don’t have a list, a plan or even made up statistics for you, maybe someday, after survival mode has hit.

blogging about my life

Standard

i so admire mommy-bloggers who set all of these goals for themselves and accomplish them every week. but it also make me feel like crap because usually one of my only goals for the week is just to blog. does that stink or what?

but i’m really not complaining. i love reading about other peoples goals and i more often feel inspired than like crap. i think it just gets me caught in a war with myself. and blogging can make it worse at times.

there is a certain expectation that comes with blogging, i hold myself to higher standards because i blog about my life. it’s really good for me and i fall short in many ways to my own standards. and you actually get to see that.

it makes failing even scarier, because i have an audience. and i choose to have an audience. i pour my freaking heart out to you people! i’ve shared a lot of my life on here. you know that i was born at home. you know many details about our finances. you know certain organizations we give money to. you know that i set goals and fail them, very often.

and if i’m being frank, i think that’s why you keep reading. you want to know what my life is like. i’ve got you hooked with my witt and charm and failures.

so what’s the balance? how do blog about my life without boring you to death or straight-up lying? how do i blog without setting impossible standards for myself? how do i blog about the realities of life with out complaining or being super annoying or super unrealistic?

honestly, i actually think i’ve actually done a pretty good job of balancing all of these things in 2011, and i’m toasting to 2012 for an even better year of blogging for all our sakes! but the bottom line is, don’t judge me for being an entire month behind on setting goals for myself.