Marriage

month five: blessings abound

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Five months down and forever to go!

I really, really, really LOVE my husband.

This is at our rehearsal dinner, aren’t we cute?

He’s my best friend. He’s been my best friend since we were in high school…when we were dating other people. He’s one of those friends that (still, four years later) calls me everyday, just to tell me a random story or check to see if my day is going well. He’s one of those wonderful people who are easy to talk to all the time. And I get to be with him for the rest of my life! I apologize to all the girls who don’t get the pleasure of being married to the best man ever. Though I’m sure in your disillusion you think your man is the best ever. : )

He’s the Spiritual Leader. As much as I (regretfully) fight for this position in our family, it seems that it’s always him to lead us in prayer. He’s the one who came home one day and said, “We’re giving more to our church.” Despite the small dose of financial hardship we’re currently experiencing (read on for a financial update). And he’s the one who got up at 5:15A.M. yesterday morning for his first men’s group meeting.

He’s the patient one, the kind one, the forgiving one. Why does he always have to apologize so quickly-I didn’t even get a chance to chew him out yet! Why can’t I have a moment to be mad at him? Why doesn’t he ever yell and get raging mad?

He’s my claim to fame. Call me proud but it is just fun to say, “My husband play bass for the Anthem Band.” “Oh, yeah, the red head, that’s you’re husband? Cool!”

This month, our marriage has been a blessing because of him. Thanks, Bryan.

MONTH FIVE UPDATE:

Spiritually
We’re doing alright spiritually. I’ve actually been experiencing some spiritual warfare as well as struggling with several different situations all at once. It wouldn’t be prudent for me to share it all but prayers for protection against the enemy are welcomed.
Bryan just started going to men’s group on Thursday mornings at 6am.
We’re both enjoying our connection group very much! God really blessed us big time with a great leader and 3 other young couples, two newly married and one engaged. It’s such a perfect fit.

Financially
You may have read about the car repairs. Our dreams of making a dent in our debt were further crushed when we found out last Friday that Bryan’s hours were getting cut at the bank. Again, we’re going to be fine financially, but it was a little overwhelming at the time.
To be honest, I’m starting to feel that all of this financial crap has been much more of a blessing then a burden. It sometimes feels like a burden because God’s plan can be harder then my own. But overall, I’m stretching and growing into a more Christ-like LisaGrace and I’m really loving the slightly-new me! God’s plan is always better then my own…

Home-ly
Here’s what I’ve been up to:

Lot’s of work on the machine…

These are some curtains I just whipped together. I need to hem the bottom and their just the back curtains. The front set will match the black and white pillows below.

PILLOWS! I’m pretty proud of these babies.

Just a little wall art.

If you thought I was proud of the pillows, let me TELL you about this little treasure. I did this. Yep, me. I free-handed with bleach and created this! I. am. amazing.

Trust me, all of the above is cooler in person. COME SEE US!

month four on the oregon trail.

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or month four of marriage.

same thing, really: broken axles, dead oxen, starving until we get to next town and free land!*

no really, by God’s grace marriage has been good to us in these four short months. the rewards we reap despite small bumps in the road are rich to the soul.

finances:
i can taste freedom! see this post regarding our financial goals for 2009. in august, we wrote a check to pay off “my” car, or the focus. at the beginning of this month we paid off our wedding bands and last week we wrote a pretty big check to bryan’s parent for “his” car, or the suburu. we only have two more checks to go, meaning we’ll be completely debt free by the end of november! can you tell i’m a little excited?
also, we found out some news about iowa state tuition as bryan will be starting full time next semester. it’s a little bit of good and bad.
the good news is that formerly, we had only been told of the yearly payment plan option, in which we pay for an entire year with 12 monthly payments starting in april. but since bryan was starting half way through, that obviously didn’t make sense for us. however, after purging our debt and paying cash for dmacc classes this semester, we knew we wouldn’t have enough to pay in full at the beginning of the semester. but we recently found out that their is an alternative payment plan where we pay in 3 payments over the course of next semester.
the bad news is that one semester at iowa state is $3,600.00 and we can’t change bryan’s fafsa until next year, meaning we won’t qualify for any financial aid until fall of 2010. so that 3,600 bucks is all ours to handle. (for comparison sake, we only paid $1,350.00 for dmacc this semester) *deep breath* though it’s a large chunk of money, i’m honestly not too worried. i’ve reminded myself that within the course of 6 months, we will have paid of $5,500 in debt, which is TWO THOUSAND more then tuition. also, if we’re really good with our money, we’ll have the first payment of $1,200 by the end of this year. from there it’s just trusting God that Bryan will be able to make at least $600 a month to finish out the other $2,400.
anyway, i’m moving on, because i know you don’t care that much about our finances.

relationship:
we’re finding that there needs to be a balance in almost everything. recently, it’s been mostly balancing our time. i’m still trying to figure out how to get stuff done when bryan’s home. i don’t like cleaning when someone is “watching” me. and it’s always hard to be productive when my husband is taking a break after a long day of work. but we’re learning that there is a time to hang out with eachother and a time to…not. meaning, i have to learn to be productive even when bryan’s home so that i can completely devote my mind, body, and whole self to him when we have specific time alone with eachother. but we still hang out plenty, especially when i’ve been extra efficient!
otherwise, it’s been sooo easy to love one another lately. praise God for this! i’m soaking up these months and trying to engrave them in my heart for when hard times eventually come.

homemaking:
i’ve been at a pace of about 1 project/improvement a week. here are some pictures chronicling my journey:

our computer desk station (that chair won’t be pink for long!)
our beautiful bedspread

here’s our old bedspread…it was scratchy and crazy and i’m sad i ever spent $100 bucks on it. especially considering the replacement was $60

our record collection in my favorite piece of new furniture, our little bench that fits perfectly in our little nook

painted and filled bookshelves

and a new futon cover!

and here’s what i’ll be up to this weekend while bryan’s gone:

  • sanding and painting one of our shelves.
  • making the back set of living room curtains
  • making a few pillow cases
  • starting my painting projects : )

parenting:
what?!?! no, no, no, get your mind out of the gutter-we’re not gonna have a kid. but we got to practice our parenting skills on this little guy:
bryan says, “i don’t get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. i joke around with them, you give them pizza, you give them candy, you let them live their lives. they’re adults, for goodness sake.” (for you office fans out there)

p.s. we can’t wait for another one! congratulations todd, paige, and atticus!

*footnote: i’ve read two francine rivers books this month and they BOTH referenced the oregon trail. also, both groups traveling on the oregon trail in the books detoured to california. weird. needless to say, the oregon has been on my mind.

monthly review

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i keep seeing today’s date and marveling at it in wonder.

really? september 2nd?

crazy.

august, as i predicted, was an insane month! and a wonderful month. definitely one of my favorites.

here’s a review of all things august:

3 months down!

i love marriage! august 23rd was our 3-month anniversary. the past month of marriage just kept getting better and better. and better. we’ve simply been enjoying eachother so much mostly due to the fact that i, especially have been letting go of the little things.

  • letting go. i have a lot of trouble taking things so personally when it comes to my husband. and worse, the biggest cause of the former is that i ask him to do things, in my head, and he somehow fails to do those things. when he would fail to do the things i had clearly asked him to do, in my head, it would hurt me to the deepest level. how could he treat me like this? well, i’m learning, ok? i’m learning not to assume, but i’m also learning that i just need to be ok and love my husband even if he fails to read my mind.
  • what’s in a word? encouraging eachother has been another thing we’ve become more natural at. by the grace of God, we’ve not really tore eachother down with words. but we’ve both, ok, especially i, have been lacking in words that build up. we had a series of conversations about how we both felt so overwhelmed by eachothers expectations. we weren’t making an effort to tell eachother how much we really care for eachother and we’ve found that is important.
  • share the load! oh yeah, bryan is not just my roommate and he’s not just my friend. he’s not even just my husband. he’s my other half. i had a total breakdown somewhere in the middle of august. i got home from work one day, sat on our couch, thought about everything i had to do and just melted. bryan found me curled up in a ball underneath our covers when he got home from work. (i’m not kidding!) it was the first time in my life that i caved under pressure. my personality tends to resonate a “suck it up, get it done-and do it with a smile” type of attitude. i can easily find joy in pressure, but this time, i couldn’t do it. i curled up in a ball and cried. literally. and when bryan got home from work, what do you think i did? i told him i “wasn’t feeling well.” and i didn’t tell him what was really wrong until two days later. i’m stupid. after i told him everything i was feeling, i immediately felt better. he didn’t offer to help with some of my tasks and he didn’t really say anything in particular to encourage me. just the fact that i knew i could share my load with him gave me immediate peace. and to add to that peace, he really is such a servant-hearted husband. i rarely do to the dishes anymore.

so yeah, marriage is great, and we learn new things everyday.

———-

uncle bryan and aunt lg!
possibly the most exciting piece of news:

mya rosalie duvick
august 27th, 2009, 6:52pm
7lb, 7oz, 19″

this is my brother, luke, and his beautiful baby girl:
my family is so blessed by this little one! please pray for luke and diana as they adjust to life with little mya. praise Him!

———-

entertainment reviews
we watched a lot of movies this month, and we have some thoughts for you:

District 9. so stinking good! it was incredibly well made and thought-out as well as thought-provoking. bryan and i had several conversations about the controversies brought up in the film. we don’t however, think the movie is making a statement about “illegal aliens” or immigrants. we’ve heard that’s been said, but ignore it. also, coming from me, it’s not so scary!

UP. we realize we’re a little late for a review but this movie… SO GOOD! we just saw it in the dollar theater. i personally cried 5 times, so be prepared with tissues, women! you too men, because bryan himself shed a few tears. it’s is the BEST disney pixar film thus far (in our opinions) and we both agree it has the perfect balance of fantasy, reality, laughter and tears. it receives a high five from the alsburys!

The Time Traveler’s Wife. this coming from a girl who gets extremely sucked in and involved in chick flicks, despite the quality or writing: i did not care for this particular movie. it was, in the simplest terms, awkward. i guess i hope the book was better.
———-

in other news:

  • paige and i have HALF of galatians memorized. i feel such a great sense of accomplishment! i was hoping to finish the whole book by the end of 2009 but i’m not sure if that will happen. whenever we finish, it will have been a race worth the run!
  • NERD ALERT. i’m becoming even more of a nerdy wife. you know how much i love coupons and deals, and now i’ve fallen in love natural/homemade products.
  • i completely chopped my hair off last night. i was getting sick of it being so stinking long and straight and…boring. so we make some drastic changes. drastic. i can’t decide whether i look like i’m a forty-year-old woman or a 12-year-old boy. i’ll let you decide. unfortunately, i can’t post pictures because we seem to have lost our battery charger for our camera. so you’ll have to wait!

if you got this far down, i’m amazed. there is still much more to update but i’ll save that for a later day.

until next time, thank you and goodnight. um. good afternoon.

two months down…

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…forever to go.

today is our two month anniversary and it’s time for another update-lucky you!

we continue to learn a lot about what this whole marriage thing is about. here are some of those things:

  • moving is a challenge. and an especially challenging one for two very different people. when bryan and i moved in together, we didn’t really have any problems because i had the mentality of “we’re only going to live here for two months, so it doesn’t matter if it looks like a bomb hit it 24-7.” but now that we’re getting ready to move into our semi-permanent “home,” my own personal stress levels are high. i really want this new apartment to be a haven for my husband and i, not a wreck. but we have so much stuff and did i mention we’re moving into a much smaller apartment? yeah, it’s difficult. but on tuesday, bryan lead us in prayer about the situation and the Holy Spirit led my heart to this conviction, “more then cute decorations, matching furniture, and tidiness, our home needs to be centered around godly living and led by the Holy Spirit.” we prayed this over our home and it was a huge breakthrough for me. i’m still overwhelmed, but i’m getting my priorities straight.
  • being away from eachother for 80 hours is not fun. for two people who have been the kind-of best friends that talk and see eachother every day for 3+ years, leaving bryan home for 4 days was a challenge for both of us. the bright side is bryan got in some great friend time (but he missed seth a lot) and i got to see God working in lots of big ways in minneapolis, mn. you can read my post about it here.
  • shiny new toys are more fun if you have the money for it. we are so stinking blessed. period. we love that we can afford nice things like a new tv. we love that we can take advantage of the sales because we have cash saved up. and we love treating ourselves to something really fun while working so hard to pay off our debt and pay for school with cash.

that’s all i can think of right now, but there you go!

married life as we know it.

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ah, the joys of marriage…

we’ve been married for 4 weeks today and we think this whole married thing is something we’ll do for a while…say the rest of our lives? yes, that sounds great.

we knew it was going to be a big change, but we had no idea what to expect, of course. so we just wandered into married life with plenty of varied advice and information from plenty of varied resources. we knew we’d ultimately have to wander blindly through most of it, despite our efforts to soak in as much of the above referenced advice and information.

here are the stats of the newly formed “Team Alsbury” after four weeks of training:

  • we fight about once a week & we’re great at fighting. : ) actually, i do mean that in the best sense and rather what i mean to say is that we consistently resolve our conflict quickly and gently. bryan is really the force behind our “great fights.” even as most of our fights are caused by me and my sin (ex. i’m usually assuming he’s done something he hasn’t, or expecting him to do something that he’s not. i’m stretched daily to be relieved of this sin in my heart), he is still so gentle and so eager to make things right. and if you know bryan its not really hard to believe that he has NEVER raised his voice, even in the most heated discussions. while neither one of us like fighting or arguing, it is currently the most efficient means of growth in our marriage and in our opinions, once a week really isn’t bad!
  • living together has been remarkably, extremely natural for the both of us. that is a huge blessing. we’ve both lived with many different roommates and living with each other has been so much better then every good roommate combined! for me, i think it’s the fact that we can brush our teeth at the same time without it being weird and also that if i don’t like the way bryan folds the towel in half as opposed to the tri-fold of my choice, i can just tell him i don’t like it or refold the towel myself. seriously though, bryan an i were just talking last night about how we love having each other as roommates. it’s great.
  • we decided that as soon as we pay off our debt, we’re giving ourselves a huge date night fund. i am so excited about this. and we only have to wait about 6 more months to work this into our budget. i realized that even though we see each other everyday and go to sleep together every night that i really miss just sitting down, staring him in the face and talking to him. when i told him this, he agreed and we decided to reward ourselves with $100 a month just for dates when we pay off our debt.
  • we’ve been so blessed, we’re really trying to be wise with all of God’s blessing and we’re rapidly paying off every single piece of debt as well as saving enough to pay cash for college. and let me tell you, it is so exciting! we are working hard to pay off my car first as that is the only loan collecting interest. we are so blessed to be able to live really comfortably and still be able to pay off my car by august-21 months early! we expect to, if all goes according to plan, be able to pay off the rest of our debt by november of this year! heck yes! i am so excited to feel so free and to not have any “payments.” in december, we’ll give ourselves a tiny bit of wiggle room (bryan laughs everytime i say that) in our budget, bryan will be able to work around 15 hours a week instead of 25-30 and we will begin putting away around $600 each month for tuition. (if you did the math, that’s $7,200.00 a year which is the maximum we’ll pay at ISU but we are hoping for a little financial aid and possible scholarships!)
  • i’m really enjoying being an economic homemaker. it brings me so much joy to spend less then what we have to spend on groceries, clothes, and standard household items. and for some reason, even though i had begun practicing all of the tricks of the trade before we got married, i became a wizard at it after a week of marriage. i’ll chalk it up to my newly acquired wifely-super-powers.
  • NEVER AGAIN WILL I EVER BUY A WHOLE CHICKEN. seriously, ugh. i never thought it would happen, but i almost became a vegetarian that fateful day. i’ll spare you the details but have you ever bought a whole chicken before? it’s neck, it’s wings, it nubs…they still haunt me. i wasted most of the $2.59 that i spent on it. i did manage to de-bone the breast and that will make one nice meal so it’s not a total loss. i am going to try my hand at buying bone-in chicken breast too so i’m not totally scarred. i’ll let you know how it goes. we’ll either continue our strict beef diet from this month or i’ll spend a lot of our food money on boneless, skinless chicken breasts. yum.
  • in other news…bryan’s car reached 120,000 miles this week!

WOOHOO!!!

well, that’s all for now, folks!