have you heard that before? that marriage is a means of sanctification? or how about this one: “marriage isn’t about happiness, it’s about holiness.” i know you’ve heard that one.
special alert! coming from 5 weeks experience-it’s true!
i knew in my head it was true, but in experience (having never been married) i had no clue. but we’re learning.
here is the most striking lesson i’ve learned from marriage:
please don’t depend on your husband for happiness
oh yeah, i totally knew this before marriage. it seems a bit obvious doesn’t it? why would any woman ever think that she could depend on her husband for happiness? duh! (rebuke, rebuke, rebuke) seriously though, of course it’s obvious in theory, of course it would be an easy guess that you should follow the above statement. but i’m talking about real life here. you know, the world of sin we live in. and i’m also talking about me who is the epitome of “she knows it in her head but not in her heart.”
i’ve kind-of been meditating on this phrase lately too. i know its not a bible verse or anything, but it’s been extremely difficult to remove this habit from myself and i find that repeating “dont depend, don’t depend, don’t depend.” to myself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and…well, you get the point. anyway, it really helps to remind myself of this truth.
of all women in the universe, i think i have it the hardest though. it’s not entirely my fault for thinking i can depend on my husband for happiness. why?
because bryan makes me SO HAPPY!
and if he makes so happy, why shouldn’t i depend on him for that?
“well, because that’s not his job, lisagrace.”
oh, right. bryan isn’t my own personal happy machine.
but it’s no surprise that he makes me ridiculously happy, i did fall in love with him didn’t i? BUT, i wanted to marry him for many more reasons then just that. i wanted to marry him because he loves me selflessly, as Christ does the church. i wanted to marry him because his heart is always seeking more from our Father and his mind is always on how he can give more back to Him.
i suppose my own personal resolution from this lesson is that i don’t want to be a wife who controls her husband with her mood swings and over-emotional fit of “unhappiness.” i don’t want to be the women that is eluded to in the quote: “a happy wife equals a happy husband.” i don’t want my happiness to control our happiness.
i want to be a woman of joy, who daily seeks her joy in the Lord and who’s heart is happy even on the worst of days.
whoa, just re-read that last sentance. if i’m going to act as i speak, i’ve apparently got a lot to live up to. it’s those sentances that make me really appreciate the power of the Holy Spirit.