New Year

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I don’t have any New Year’s Resolutions this year.

I’m really good with that.

I’m really good right here, and I’m really good with the idea of moving forward, pushing myself, being better.

I love the fresh start of the New Year – starting over, clean slate, new budget sheets, new calendars.  It’s always kind of nice to push the last year behind you, shut it doors, and open the new year.  The New Year naturally causes me to reflect on the old one.  I spend a lot of time meditating on the things I’ve slowly and painstakingly learned in the last year.  These are the things that I usually don’t know I’m learning until after the fact.

The most profound thing I learned in 2013 was about time.  I really learned that I only have so much time to accomplish things I love, or things I want or things I need.  It’s kind of like when you always have more money than you need, you don’t fully understand budgeting.  You can pay your bills, buy whatever you need and then some.  That’s how my life has aligned with Time until this last year.  I just…always had enough.

But something changed this year, and I could no longer accomplish everything I wanted and I really felt it.  I wanted to blog more, but I read a lot more instead.  I wanted to cook more, but I crafted more instead.  I wanted to make new friends, but I FaceTimed with old ones instead.  I wanted to spend more time with people, but I worked, slept, crafted more instead.

2013 was the first year in my 25 years that I felt the give and take of time.  I started noticing that I wasn’t getting certain things done because I was actually doing other things – rather than just laziness.

This is a hard lesson to learn, because I don’t know what to do about it.  What can I do?  I’m in a place where no matter what, I have to give up something.  And I don’t want to give up anything. And I want to do more.  It’s interesting, I’ll tell you.

And some how this lesson has led me to having no resolutions for the new year.  I think I’m feeling a little capped out.  But I’m also feeling like resolving a whole year is just not practical for me right now.  I think instead I’ll resolve each day. To make the most of my time, doing things that I love, want and need to do.

God has contented my heart – I’m really content right now.  I’m really good with being right here, right now.  I think I’ll just stick with that.

 

[photo credit]

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