you know you live in a trailer park when…

this is the view from your kitchen window and that frisbee has been there for the past year and a half.

you know you live in a trailer park when…

you watch painfully as the tiny, cute, super old lady with a walker complete with tennis balls walks slowly but noisily to the mailboxes. her walker scrapes along the concrete sidewalk as she inches towards them.

i just wish the mail had actually come that day, because she walked back to her trailer with nothing to show for it.

you know you live in a trailer park when…

you find yourself thinking of clever yet cutting things to yell back at the trailer park hoodlums who frequent the streets and yell obscenities at all passerbys.

you know you live in a trailer park when…

you actually pass your trailer on your way home. because even though you’ve lived here over a year, all the trailers still kind-of look the same and you can’t exactly remember which one is yours unless you’re paying close attention.

you know you live in a trailer park when…

you notice some tires in your neighbors yard. and you also notice that those tires are chained to the lamp post.

you know you live in a trailer park when…

your sanitation department actually forbids trash cans. that’s right, your trailer park sanitation division requests that you place trash bags and only trash bags directly on the curb, because actual trash cans look a little too high-class for your trailer park.

you know you live in a trailer park when…

you see your neighbor lady stepping outside through her sliding door for a quick smoke with:

1. curlers in her hair
2. a bathrobe wrapped around her
         and
3. a landline telephone held to her ear

you know you live in a trailer park when…

you drive up onto the curb and pull up mcdonald’s style to your mailbox. you even keep your mailkey in your car, for that added measure of convenience. and why wouldn’t you? everyone else does. sometimes we even wait in line.