a long apology for a long absence

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I really enjoy blogging. I love writing. I love sharing about our lives and marriage and journey. And it’s totally therapeutic for me to take time to digest things by writing it out.

But I ran into a problem with blogging this past month: I don’t want to be a “Ranter.”

I personally become so burdened and bogged down after I read a particularly negative anything (blog, facebook status, etc.) written by anyone (friend or not).

Frankly, for me, this past month has been full of hard things, and I haven’t had many positive things to say. But I didn’t want to bog myself, or anyone reading my blog down with all the negativeness.

Hence, I haven’t been blogging much.

I want to stay positive, even in the blogosphere. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to fake a happy attitude, but in my heart I know that even negative things are really good. I know that everything in my life is part of the journey of life and more specifically part of my spiritual growth.

I told one of my good friends that the recent weeks of my life have been ones in which God seems to be tearing me apart. It hurts, but I know its a good hurt. He desires to put me back together His way. This Anthem Band lyric has been speaking loud and clear to me:

“Destroy our hearts so we can recover.”

(From, “Take the Day.” thanks Ryan Seiler)

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But don’t despair, I think I’m on the mend from all the construction God’s been doing in my life. I’ve been learning so much from Him and changing in ways that I really didn’t want to. : )

And I have a lot to say about it too! More blogs are coming soon from the Alsbury home!